Monday 19 October 2015

5 Reasons to Clear Your Dating Browser History & Burn Your X-Box

You know how they say "don't take dating advice from someone who is single"? It's not particularly true. My grandmother has been divorced for 47 years and along with her "your thighs hey," she does give some good titbits in the relationship department too.

She's not only the one who taught me about the birds and the bees before I could spell my own name but also warned that occasional one night stands could end up in 4 kids and a divorce. Aided by her immaculate story-telling abilities she shaped everything I knew about relationships before I was 12. Not to mention the revenge plots. A particular gem is my grandfather coming home from a 4-month whaling expedition to find his "x-box" (a treasure trove of pictures, photographs and love letters from uhm, "pen-pals") in a pile of ash in the yard.


Lesson? Always start a new game on a new memory card. Take the time to re-set, restore, clean, erase, delete, and where necessary BLOCK any fragments of the past that might come back to bite you on the butt. I'm not saying hide your past, it's just not ideal to have it hanging in your 2 month browser history when you're trying to convince the world your third "love of your life" is "THE one". The comments section on the last couple shoot hasn't even ended yet. Uhm, Awkward.



In our overly digitally saturated world it's hard to not come across something online of your ex, and it always remains at the end of a relationship what do you do with all the traces of them in your life? It's not as simple as packing stuffed animals and unused candles and gifts in a box and re-gifting it to the dirt man, if you don't give it back to said ex that is.

1) Delete all the old emails, skype messages, etc etc. It's easier to drop the "Hi, how are you?" when there's still a reply option.



2) Untag yourself in ALL Facebook pictures with them, even the group photos. Sure it's probably some good memories too, but if you truly want a clean slate it's not worth the nostalgia.




3) Depending on the circumstances of the break-up it's not always necessary to unfriend them completely... sometimes it's as simple as you just don't feel anything for them, and that's quite okay.
However, if there's a possibility of a stalker it's always a good idea to get rid of their access to your life.

4) Let's face it, we do these clean ups to not fend off any new potentials. The amount of times I've had to tell my friends "I'm sure it's his sister / cousin / weird young aunt" is preposterous. Why are men so lazy to clean out their exes?! It's like going into an interview with your old company's branded logo t-shirt.





5) Besides all the online stuff, get rid of any actual printed photos. Matric ball ones are possibly the most difficult to undo, so rather go alone!